The Top Seven Possible Sources Of The New TechCrunch Logo

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One of the biggest news items of the week was the change in logo for our friends over at TechCrunch. And while their primary impetus in the change was “to piss you off”, I couldn’t help that it was something else. See, what this was was a gift. A wonderful, glorious gift for us out here at TFTS, who are always eager to make hay while the spectacularly ugly mottled green sun shines. And while staring at that logo, and talking it over with the crew out here at the awe and majesty that is TFTS World Headquarters, I settled in, slammed my tongue sufficiently far into my cheek to let me pull bits of corn out from around my gumline, and figured out the seven best possibilities to determine who could have come up with this.

7. The Minecraft Advertising Agency

This was my personal choice for the guys behind the new logo TechCrunch is putting up. After all, they say the Minecraft graphic design Creepers are second to none, and considering that the TechCrunch logo, with its mottled dark green / light green / white motif looks exactly like a Creeper that’s been conveniently reshaped into a TC, well, it makes nothing but sense to figure that Creepers had a hand in it. Sure, TechCrunch denies the change was Minecraft related, but I find myself skeptical. It’s just entirely too Creeperific.

6. Sloane / Curtis from What Women Want

You might wonder what the ad agency from What Women Want is doing in here, and there’s one good reason. See, in the movie, they end up hiring Mel Gibson, who finds himself with psychic powers that allow him to read the minds of the female gender, and Mel’s character uses this unexpected psychic gift, this knowledge of “what women want”, to make sure his work incorporates just that. I don’t know if TechCrunch hired a psychic, or someone got their vision wires crossed, but the end result might well have been TechCrunch’s inexplicable new green, green and white mass.

5. The Super Mario Brothers Marketing Group

Between games, Mario and Luigi need something to do to keep the money coming in and their minds sharp, so they step into advertising design. And they’re a great fit for TechCrunch’s baffling new logo for two clear reasons. One, both the logo, and the Brothers, spend a whole lot of time in eight bit. Two, they could actually assemble the early test logos from Luigi’s old outfits. Dark green / light green / white is the perfect descriptor for Luigi’s entire ensemble. So they already know exactly what TechCrunch so very clearly wanted, making the Mario Brothers the perfect folks to tackle TechCrunch’s new logo.

4. Simon Ad Design

Somewhere out there, in the wilds of the advertising jungle, is an advertising company currently staffed by one lone little boy armed with a big box of Crayola. And though he looks like Mike Myers from Saturday Night Live, he went into business for himself after a successful stint as the host of a BBC series back in the nineties, and clearly, went into advertising from there. And his entire client list is now TechCrunch. Little Simon’s speciality is “drawerings”, and he’s very clearly put his skills into overdrive to produce their new dark green / light green / white motif. So bravo, Simon–that’s one drawering you’ve clearly knocked out of the park! And don’t worry…no one’s looking at your bum.

3. The Amorphous Ad Company from Dilbert

There’s one great Dilbert strip out there in which Dilbert’s company hires the Amorphous Ad Company to do their advertising, and the end result is described by one of the agency’s personnel: “I see a gaseous cloud and some music…no, just a noise.” The pointy haired boss, meanwhile, responds with “Excellent. And then we say the name of our company?”. The agency rep responds with “Sure, if you want to ruin the ad.” The folks out at TechCrunch may well want to check their ranks for a pudgy, middle-aged gent with pointy hair and a distinct lack of brain power, because with a logo like that, I think they hired the Amorphous Ad Company.

2. Sterling Cooper Draper Price from Mad Men

You might wonder how I would consider an advertising agency that’s worked with big names like Lucky Strike in their portfolio a good candidate to ever produce something like that green mass TechCrunch is working with…but when you look fully at the workings of Sterling Cooper Draper Price, well, you see exactly why. Sterling Cooper Draper Price, you see, is set in a universe in which people drank at work…and sometimes, heavily. And an atmosphere of heavy drinking sounds just like the one that would produce something like that otherworldly blob of two greens and a white that TechCrunch is working with.

1. J.J. Creative Services

Sounds like a relatively normal ad agency, right? Well, the problem here is that this is a fictional ad agency…established by two thirds of the male leads from Full House, specifically, Joey Gladstone and Jesse Katsopolis. Yes, this is an ad agency created by an overgrown ten year old and a Lothario so threadbare that he lives with his brother in law and three kids. In fact, by the end, even the writers got sufficiently bored with the concept to rely on the oddest crutch ever in the form of the Beach Boys showing up regularly. Who better to design that incredible swatch of green than a comedian whose focus is voices (and occasionally puppets) and a guy who used to own a place called the Slash Club?

So there you have it–the top seven best candidates for the brilliant minds behind the new TechCrunch logo. Just who was responsible for it, I can’t say, but the chances are pretty good it was subcontracted out. Yeah, they just used a program that came with AOL…sure, pull the other one, fellas. Besides, that’s nowhere near as much fun. There were a lot of great possibilities, but I wonder if you guys can come up with any others! Head on down to the comments section and make your best guess as to who’s behind the TechCrunch logo!

all pics copyright their owners. especially the TechCrunch logo, because who’s going to steal credit for that?