Portal 2 Delayed By Valve A Measly Two Months Until April 18 2011

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Valve put out a press release today, and we know better than to try to mangle it with our feeble pen in any way: “Valve today announced that Portal 2 — the sequel to the ground-breaking title that won over 30 game of the year awards, despite missing its original ship date — will now be available the week of April 18th, 2011. This two month slip not only marks the shortest delay in Valve’s proud tradition of delays, it represents the approaching convergence of Valve Time and Real Time. Though this convergence spells doom for humanity, it will not affect the new Portal 2 release date. ” We just hope they’re keeping the portals.

What you’re now feeling instead of surprise, which is what you get when normal companies announce delays for normal games, is relief (also, you’re probably still day-dreaming about that trailer). We can do two months standing on our head after the five years Half Life put us through, not to mention Episode Three. Never mention Episode Three. Unless it’s out, is it out? Also, notice how we got through an entire (admittedly press-release heavy) post without stupid worn-out cake and cube memes? See, Internet, it can be done.