The Top Six Things Electric Car Speakers Should Sound Like [Prius And Leaf Both Have Underhood Mounted Speakers, Here's a List of What They Should Sound Like]

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We just saw this week how the Prius was joining the Nissan Leaf in putting speakers in the hoods of their cars, because the resulting engine noise is so silent pedestrians have a hard time hearing it. And when I saw how respondent Astro had chimed in, wanting his to play the Jetsons’ familiar burbling sound, I got to thinking…what else could the speakers play? Sure, I wanted animal noises to keep the deer from jumping out in front of me, but there were so many other options! And thus I concocted this list of the top six things that electric car speakers should sound like.

This one’s for you, Astro.

6. The Jetsons’ hovermobile – The Jetsons

This was the idea that Astro gave me, so I couldn’t very well let the idea go by without introducting the perky, burbling putter of the Jetson family’s hovercar. Can you really call it a hovercar, though? From what I could tell it was easily operating several miles above the ground, so it might be more like an antigravity system. But still, as car noises went, this one represents the hope of a brighter tomorrow better than most any car noise out there.

5. Lightcycle – Tron

The lightcycles in Tron had their own distinctive engine sound that evoked the sense of speed necessary for a proper duel. It kept you on edge as you watched those bikes tear around the grid, each jockeying for position in a bid to cut their competitor off in a burst of coherent light. It may be a high and whining sound to some, but I say, show me to the grid.

4. The Defiant – Deep Space Nine

If you’ve ever watched the opening credits of an episode of Deep Space Nine, you know that the Defiant has a sound all its own when it departs the Federation-managed station currently in orbit around Bajor. And frankly, who wouldn’t want that kind of feeling of power and explorative joy as you drive? I can’t tell who wouldn’t either.

3. Anakin’s Pod Racer – The Phantom Menace

For an electronic burbling sound that actually put me in mind of motocross racers, Anakin’s pod racer from the otherwise tragic misstep of science fiction known as The Phantom Menace definitely fits the bill for car noises. Sounding both anachronistic and futuristic all at the same time, it also puts you in mind of one of the only good parts of the whole movie, as a nine year old managed to beat seasoned professionals from all over the sector thanks to microscopic life forms in his bloodstream. And that’s pretty awesome no matter how you think of it.

2. Vader’s TIE Fighter – Star Wars

Hitting the Star Wars vault again for engine noises, Lord Vader’s TIE fighter gives a nice sound all its own. If it reminds me of anything, it reminds me of some kind of space-faring muscle car, and while that may not be the image some people want, I know some who would. Especially a certain internet sensation by the name of Chad….

1. The Naked Gun Theme – The Naked Gun series

This is the one I responded to Astro with, so it does a good job of closing out the set. If you haven’t seen the Naked Gun movies yet–and I truly advise that you do–the opening credits feature a snappy theme song with a first-person shot of a police car, complete with red flashing bubble light, driving in a series of improbable situations. That car has driven through car washes, under the ocean, through a women’s locker room, down the lanes of a bowling alley…loads of places. It was actually once featured in a bullfight and slapped by celebrity Zsa Zsa Gabor. And when your engine plays that song, it doesn’t matter where you drive. Because you’re riding with Lieutenant Frank Drebin, and by God, apple pie and America, that gives you license to drive ANYWHERE. At least until the real cops show up….

So if you put any of these in your car’s engine soundtrack, as far as I’m concerned, you’ve got a pretty sweet ride. Whether or not we’ll be able to remains to be seen–Nissan, Toyota, I’m looking at you!–but hopefully a little customization isn’t out of line.

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