USB-Powered Gyrating Hips [Your Very Own Desk-Sized Shaking Ass]

I love USB devices. They come in all sorts of designs like personal fan, little lights, sound cards, even a microwave is available that’s powered by your USB slot. But a USB-powered ass? When I first saw this one I almost passed it by. I figured, what could I possibly have to say about such a dumb device. But I couldn’t get it out of my mind. Images of little shaking butts kept creeping back into my head like some kind of visual earworm. I had to exercise the demons and I had to find out where in the hell these things came from.

After minutes of arduous research, here’s what I managed to uncover in this asscapade. The USB Shaking Hip (as it is so innocently known) appears to be a product of a Japanese company called Banpresto. Of course it’s Japanese. After all, I really didn’t think that the Germans were behind this one. I tracked down a website that is actually selling these things and I think that the graphics say it all. “Surround yourself with shaking booties!” “Your room will turn into a paradise in a second!” They were certainly trying hard with these things. But could it be true? Could I really be in a paradise just by ordering one of these little plastic beauties? For some reason, I doubt it.

I really can’t wrap my head around this one. I’m just uncomfortable with the thought of little plastic hips shaking all over my office, even if they come in four different panty varieties. The website also warns, “This product does not store any memory.” I think this is a good thing, given the lack of places one could stick the memory in such a device. However, if you’re considering actually ordering one of the USB Shaking Hips (and I’m not judging you) I would suggest two things. First, tell no one. Second, head over to www.strapya-world.com and slap down $15.10.