Necklace MP3 Player with Rhinestones [Pendant DAP Shames New Shuffle's Design Sensibilities]

If you thought that Apple’s new iPod Shuffle 4GB was the be all and end all in cutting edge, contemporary DAP design, think again, as this gloriously glamorous Necklace MP3 player, which comes with 50 genuine and probably very sparkly Czech crystal rhinestones really serves to put things into stark and sobering perspective.

Yes, we suspect that Apple are positively quaking in their logo emblazoned (probably white, with grey trim) boots with the release of this gem of a DAP or, then again, perhaps not. Ah, yes, it’s our not in the least renowned flippancy coming through loud and clear again. Now we had you going there didn’t we? Ah, we didn’t. Well okay (hell, you could at least humour us though, perhaps, pushing for anything more than you merely tolerating us is a little short-sighted).

Coming with 1GB of capacity and brimming with technology – namely EasyPlay technology (plug in the headphones, it plays, pull out the headphones, it stops) – the Necklace MP3 Player, which really doesn’t need a pretentious title in order to emphasise its tackiness, offers up to five hours of playback endurance based on a full charge, plays ball with startling array of audio file formats in the form of both MP3 and WMA and even comes with three dual function buttons – play/pause, Vol+ / Prev, Vol- / Next – meaning you’ll no doubt have to study the manual for fractions of a second on end in order to get to grips with the broad scope of functionality not on offer.

And, if you can pull yourself off the floor, it’s stereo. That’s right, you get dual channel sound – if you can handle it.

The Necklace MP3 Player, which comes in purple or blue with ‘luxurious silver-plating material’ finishing, will set you back $25 each or, if you want to order in bulk, less.

We’ll take 10.*

*Disclaimer: this does not in anyway constitute an undertaking to purchase said device and is intended merely as a somewhat edgy post closure that doesn’t work quite as well as it might.