Digital Recording Fake Red Rose is Anything But Romantic (Or, How To Instigate Immediate Divorce Proceedings)

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Billed, seemingly in a totally non-tongue-in-cheek manner, as being ‘a good gift for lovers and persons you care about’ this fake red rose which, somewhat curiously, has gained a four out of five customer rating on the product’s website (with classic user comments such as ‘girls love it’ and ‘awesome for low budget buyers’) comes complete with digital recording capabilities thus allowing you to record a message of your choice that can be played back at the touch of a button located on the rose’s plastic stem.

Quite apart from the fact that if I gave this to Mrs TFTS my life would simply cease to be, we can only wonder about those who even remotely envisage passing this to their partner in anything other than an act of joviality (which, in all honesty, would probably be worth it just to see the resulting blank facial expression from your partner). And this is especially the case as, just to make matters all the more tacky, following playback of your carefully crafted message of love and devotion the flower will insist on playing a snippet from such romantic film classics as the Godfather theme. (By way of interest, you could always follow up giving this by placing a Severed Horse Head Pillow in the bed just to add that certain finishing touch).

Unfortunately, its not as if this fake red digital recording rose doesn’t have a few issues of its own. For a start apparently it is, according to one customer, prone to cutting off the first 1-2 seconds of your message as well as proving all too easy to accidentally erase your recorded message completely. And, to top it all off, one happy customer even reports that his flower proved inoperable on delivery on account of its batteries being dead (the feeling of anticlimax must have been simply devastating).

The Digital Recording Fake Red Rose retails for $3.95 which, in anyone’s book, is cheap at half the price.