UK Shark Identity At Last Revealed as Shark Fin Stapler

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I apologise in advance for this post (and the flippancy contained herein) but I really couldn’t help myself in light of all the fuss there’s been in the UK media over the past week or so concerning an apparent Great white Shark spotted in our waters.

We are aware that the photograph published in the media has now been exposed as having been taken in South African waters and not our own and that the experts say that the shark spotted was probably a Basing Shark but TFTS can exclusively reveal that the experts are wrong (just for a change) as we can confirm that the apparent shark was in fact a stapler.

We would like to apologise for all the confusion caused but we have only just been told that our shark fin stapler was in fact washed over board on route to TFTS central HQ only to appear floating in a somewhat convincing, semi-submerged fashion off our coast on account of it being partially buoyant.

We would like to advise that the Shark Fin Stapler – which retails for around $10 / £5 / €7 – is totally harmless unless approached by a sheet of A4 or other paper types.