USB Desktop Self Tan Device

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At last, thanks to this wonderful USB powered desktop tanning station we can completely do away with those awful trips away, otherwise known as holidays, as we can just continue working every hour of the day and feel secure that our routine will never change and that we can limit flying abroad, thus reducing our carbon emissions whilst heading for that fashionable, orange tinged prematurely aged, skin like a dried current look.

Just think of all those highly embarrassing things you could avoid in you not chasing the sun abroad. No more trying chisel your way onto a beach, no more being ripped off by taxi drivers who spotted you, the new boy in town, a mile off and so took you on a series of extended diversions and no more trying to order a beer in another language in a desperate bid to show off only to find a plate piled full of undercooked offal with a single carrot as a side order brought to your table.

Featuring two base units that attach to the sides of your monitor, each of which contain 2 WOLFFE Ultra-violet 100 watt bulbs and three power settings you can now tan as you battle with that excel spreadsheet safe in the knowledge that once you get home and get changed for bed the contrast in tones between your face and the rest of your body makes it look like you’re still wearing your suit.

And there was me thinking that the USB Humping Dog was stupid.

The USB Desktop Tanning Station costs $24.99 and is obtainable via this link.