The Entertrainer

If you are one of those people who need to have the television set on twenty-four hours a day – perhaps because you are lonely, or perhaps because you don’t want to go out because there are lots of people outside and they never speak to you because they don’t like you and besides, you like your own company – and you want to work off those extra pounds, then the Entertrainer could be just what you’re looking for.

According to the Entertrainer’s official product website, this device will turn your TV set into your very own personal fitness trainer – though I shouldn’t think you’ll spend ages flirting with it, trying to get off with it, failing, and then laying in bed all night fantasising about it quite in the same way.

So, how does it work?

Simply wire the Entertrainer up, turn on your television, and begin exercising and the Entertrainer will monitor your heartbeat in order to establish if you are working hard enough. If it thinks you’re going a little easy on yourself, it will progressively reduce the volume of the TV until you can no longer hear it (which, of course, is a total calamity) – and you’ll have to work hard in order to get the volume increased again.

If it thinks you’re whimping out completely it’ll even turn the TV off at which point you can either work yourself into a frenzy to get it turned back on or you can just give up, walk over and turn the TV on yourself and then throw the Entertrainer into the back of the cupboard where it will comfortably reside with all the other exercise gear you have brought and only ever used once.

Of course, you could wire this up and mount a TV set on the Treadmill bike and, before you know it, you’ll have propelled yourself to the shops and back – thus allowing you to watch TV and restock the fridge with several kilos of hamburgers and microwave meals.

The Entertrainer costs $139.99 and can be purchased directly from this site.