Curious Gadgets & Technology Pt.1

On the whole, the gadgets and technology featured in Thoughts from the Sidelines, whilst invariably not to everyone’s tastes, are at least desirable and functional. However, technological development sometimes results in items that frankly, at best seem rather bizarre and, at worse, seem wholly futile. Of course, this does not stop them from being interesting – indeed, quite the contrary, such curiosities are often so wacky that they take on a charm all of their own.

In light of this, it is quite right that these items should have their own little corner on this site and, as a taster of the sort of posts you can expect in this section in the future, I will begin by offering a brief roundup of some of the oddball items that have been dreamt up by designers who, I hope, never get round to taking their prescribed medicines as the world would not be the same without them.

Let’s start as we mean to go on, shall we?

Bling Bling Faeces

You have a party to go to, and you have spent the best part of three hours in front of the mirror exfoliating and then applying your makeup – and that’s just the men. Nevertheless, regardless of the time you have taken to look your best, are you sure that you have left no stone unturned? Have you forgotten to take your silver pills, for instance?

Believe it or not, these pills contain flakes of pure silver leaf and, once digested, will add that certain degree of “bling” to your, well for want of a better word, shit. Though quite why anyone would want to have their faeces sparkle with real silver wholly escapes me unless, of course, there is a disco light in the lavatory. I suppose it very much depends on what sort of parties you go to, doesn’t it?

The Orgasmatron 3000

House work needn’t be a chore. Put the fun back into the washing with the Orgasmatron 3000 washing machine, complete with leather saddle.

Dreamt up by designer Dominic Wilcox in response to a design exhibition with the theme of Bordellos, this rather unique washing machine is made to order and costs anywhere between £1700 – £2500 dependant on the specification, though if you are going to consider purchasing one I wouldn’t consider anything less than one with a 1600 spin cycle (just for that extra satisfaction).

The Orgasmatron 3000’s Dial is sheer class.

Thank god it’s not a combo spin-dryer! The mind boggles.

Want one? You can visit the site to place your order here.

The Half Suit

Actually, though I’m loathed to admit it, subsequent to a period of reflection, I can kind of see the appeal with Half Suit.

Created by a company called Businessbib, the Half Suit is aimed at people who work at home and who have to look presentable during video conferencing but also want to “let it all hang out”, so to speak.

A great idea if you happen to be a businessman who just happens to have a tutu obsession, for example - you can be rest assured that the Half Suit will have you looking suitably dapper in those all important remote meetings whilst ensuring that your colleagues will never find out about your real tastes. Moreover, the Half Suit is available in an extremely wide range of styles and colour combinations - so you can appear “suitably stylish” and only costs around $135.00 - which, let’s face it, is a keen price if you want your reputation to be upheld (though perhaps a bit steep considering its only half of everything).

You can visit the official site via this link.

The Bumpbrella

Umbrellas have two known uses. The first is to protect us from the elements, and the standard, traditional umbrella design does this job admirably. The second use of the umbrella is to carry it into crowded places and generally, though in most cases unknowingly, assault people with it as you force your way past them. Many a time I have had an umbrella rammed into some part of my body and I bear the scars of such commuter jousting like a punch-drunk boxer.

Enter the Bumpbrella, an inflatable umbrella that will not harm your fellow commuters but will probably be next to no use in anything other than a slight breeze (you can’t have it all, can you?).

Housing a bicycle type pump in the main handle, the Bumpbrella packs away in next to no space but is always there should you need it – though pumping up the Bumpbrella with you back turned to the local constabulary may well get you arrested for indecent conduct.

As a bonus, the Bumpbrella is transparent so you will be able to look through it as you make your way through the streets. Which is just as well as if this is prodded by a standard, oh-so traditional umbrella you’ll have to resort to your puncture repair kit to avoid becoming deflated.

Can’t live without the Bumpbrella? You can visit the site here.

I hope that you have liked this inaugural post in the new Curious Technology section, and I hope it has served to define what you can expect from future postings in this category. Rest assured that the next posting is already half completed and will be with you soon so, as they don’t tend to say in the best tradition of comparable websites, remember to stay tuned.

You may also find these posts of interest:

Rest and be Alternatively Seated

Ultimate Geek Accessories – Time Machines

USB Relationship Lifesavers

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