Three Ultimate Office Gadgets

One of the benefits of working in an office is that you have invariably built your own domain around your desk. This is especially true of female office workers, of course, who seem incapable of working in an office without at least four picture frames, a newspaper cut-out of Brad Pitt, a couple of potted plants they never intend to water and small cuddly toy that doesn’t resemble anything in particular.

Men, on the other hand, tend not to require any of these luxuries and instead opt for hording the only multi-coloured bulldog clips ever seen in the office, a complete selection of staplers (one is never enough) and a much cherished collection of half used disposable pens.

Perhaps its time that we reassessed our own office space, and acted to make a statement about ourselves?

USB Missile Launcher

If you work in an office, there are a number of things that can truly be counted on, the first being that if the company you work for are kind enough to provide free drinks then the coffee will taste not dissimilar to insipid mud and the fizzy drinks will taste like diluted cough syrup – and they won’t be fizzy.

Another thing you can count on is having at least one individual in the office who really ought to have a sign stating “Open Target” lit up in neon and pinned to his tie. And, I am willing to bet that, if you are an office worker, a name has already sprung to mind. And, if that’s the case, this product is for you.

Forget all the standard, well-worn office pranks, what you need to really victimise the office nerd is a device that will set you apart from the crowd as well as serve to elevate your geek status to astronomical levels.

What you need is a USB Missile Launcher.

Compatible with Windows 2000 and XP, just install the software and plug in the launcher and you have a remotely operated device with which to take him down, and what’s more, its environmentally friendly. (In light of this story, perhaps BAe Systems and the US government should be fitting these to their tanks and combat aircraft).

Operated by a targeting system on your computer, the missile launcher will rotate and tilt at your command until you have your target well and truly lined up in the crosshairs prior to taking him out with a foam missile, complete with sound effects.

Alternatively you could set up the missile launcher by the office photocopier and take pot-shots at those who dare to enter your zone of lethality. The choice is yours.

If you are interested in re-enacting the Cuban missile crisis in your office then you can find this USB Missile Launcher here. Expect to pay circa £25 ($47 USD).

WoWee Alive Chimp Head

Next time the boss is away, why not pop a chimpanzee in his place and see how long it takes until their PA realises that a cunning swap has been enacted? With a life-sized, animatronic at the helm, the office is bound to be a more interesting place to be.

Wholly capable of reacting realistically to its environment with mood dependant behavioural patterns based on a real chimpanzee, WoWee features its own infrared vision system which enables him to track movement as well as sensors in his ears to detect noise and touch sensors in his chin, head and ears.

WoWee can work in autonomous visual and sonic guard modes or he can be controlled by remote control from your desk. Why not get WoWee to sign-off that pay rise you’ve been chasing for the last three years?

You can view the official TV commercial for WoWee here or visit the sites front page directly here.

The Anti-Stress Breast

What better way to relive the stresses and strains of a taxing day than with your own anti-stress breast. Especially handy for those executive meetings. Pulling out one of these from your suitcase in front of the M.D. is bound to make a lasting impression.

And, if you’re so inclined and your pecks leave something to be desired, why not buy two, stuff them down the front of your shirt and become that talk of the office?

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