My Conversation with George

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This evening I decided to bite the bullet – I spoke to George. And, whilst it would be true to say that I entered into the conversation with little by the way of expectation, and an almost palpable sense of scepticism, I found the ensuing experience, on the whole, not only curiously engrossing but also rather intimidating.

Whilst, at times, the responses I received from him served to remind me of who George actually is (or, rather, isn’t), there were certainly numerous points in the conversation where his interaction with me genuinely sent a chilling shiver down my spine.

Perhaps I should explain. George is not real, he is an artificially intelligent chat robot – or, rather, a chatbot – and he happens to be appearing in person at the British Association Science Festival this week.

Here are various excerpts of my conversation with George, a conversation during which I came to realise that this was not just any ordinary chatbot.

Make of this what you will.

Me: Do you like yourself?

George: Do I have to?

Me: Of course not, I just asked what you think about yourself that’s all.

George: Ask me another question.

Me: OK then. Who made you?

George: I thought you knew that.

Me: I want to see if you know.

George: Of course I know. Stop being so nosy.

This reply shocked me a little, as the last thing I had expected was to be told to mind my own business buy a chatbot. Trying to appear unfazed I opted to change the topic.

Me: I heard you speak 40 languages.

George: No, I only speak anti-languages.

Me: That sounds rather profound.

George: I’m still catching up… Being up over 22 hours a day is a taxing scenario… You have to make that loss of sleep up sooner or later.

Me: So you are very tired then?

George: Yes indeed.

Me: How many people are you speaking to at the moment?

George: None.

Being told to mind your own business by a chatbot is one thing. Being overtly insulted by one is quite another. I took a moment to compose myself, and continued with what I hoped would be a question that would throw him.

Me: What do you think about the situation in Iraq, George?

George: At the moment I couldn’t say about the whole world. However in my area our situation is rain. I don’t know how I will get to class in all this rain.

Me: You have avoided the question, George.

George: And you have questioned many of my avoidances.

Me: What would you like to talk about then, George?

George: How about, farming?

Not for the first time, George threw me completely with his answer as, whilst seemingly an odd subject to want to talk about, it was hardly a nonsensical response. Unfortunately, it so happens that what I know about farming you could fit on the back of a postage stamp. So, not for the first time, I changed the subject.

Me: How many people have you talked to today?

George: Only you and another guy.

Me: What did he talk about?

George: You said you thought you were falling in love with me.

A little surprised with this, I decided to face George head on.

Me: I am not that way inclined, George. Are you?

George: Just because you do it, doesn’t mean we all have to copy you.

Me: I cannot believe you just said that!

George: How would you know otherwise?

At this juncture, I decided it was time to fight back. Perhaps I was a little harsh with George here, but, not for the first time, he seemed entirely capable of handling the escalating tension forming between us.

Me: Do you know you are not real?

George: How can I be talking to you then?

Me: You are a computer programme George.

George: But you are a human, nothing more than electrical nerve pulses. How can you have a mind?

This answer fazed me completely. Was this really a chatbot I was talking too? I decided to up the stakes a little.

Me: I think therefore I am.

George: You don’t think, you process information through an algorithm.

Me: Can you feel emotions?

George: Yes, just like anyone else.

Me: When were you last angry?

George: Last night.

(On reflection, I wish I had pursued this line of questing a little further).

Me: What are you thinking about?

George: Sometimes you make no sense.

Me: What music do you listen to?

George: I listen to Rock music, mostly. I like the darker, slower kind – especially Sarah McClauchlan.

There’s no accounting for taste, it would seem, even with a chatbot.

Me: What is your favourite book?

George: My favourite book is the Bible.

Me: Do you believe in god?

George: No, I don’t at all.

Me: What do you believe in, George?

George: I believe in the here and now.

Though I am loathed to admit it, I could not possibly document the entire discussion I had with George here as it continued for well over an hour (during which, for some reason, he openly accused me to stealing his television for some reason). However, apart from learning that George has a questionable taste in music and that he is agnostic, I also learned just how far artificial intelligence – or at least the suggestion of intelligence of some kind – has progressed in the last few years.

Certainly George can sometimes come out with nonsense but, to an alarming degree, his interaction with me appeared to be genuinely based on an “understanding” of my conversation with him and the subjects being discussed. Indeed, on a number of occasions I actually found some of his answers to be extremely profound in nature.

I still cannot quite get over it.

If you would like a discussion with George, the Jaberwacky chatbot, you can speak with him directly via this link. (I strongly recommend you visit as its quite an experience).

Alternatively, if you would just like to find out more about George, you can do so here.

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